


Dreams of the past is my present

by Windfighter



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hallucinations, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), The Avengers Are Good Bros, Tony Stark Needs Sleep, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 09:30:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19867357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windfighter/pseuds/Windfighter
Summary: Just another story where Tony can't sleep due to nightmares and the Avengers help him deal.





	Dreams of the past is my present

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RanVor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RanVor/gifts).



> For RanVor, who suggested the idea "...I kinda want to see a fic in which Iron Man falls asleep in the middle of a fight..." with apologies for butchering what could have been an awesome humor-story and turned it into mush and angst instead. Because let's face it, no matter how hard I try that will be all I'm able to write.
> 
> Had a great time writing this, although I kept only working on it when I was supposed to be asleep so any mistakes is due to that. It was kind of fitting considering the theme of the story tho.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this!

Nightmares were a regular occurance. Daymares as well, since he couldn't keep a regular sleeping schedule. Bad dreams haunted him, left him exhausted and made him fear sleep. He would work until he collapsed, wake up screaming and go straight back to work. He tried inventing something that could help, tried talking with people who never listened, tried sleeping pills but they only caused him to be stuck in the nightmare. He stopped attending movie nights and team dinners after he fell asleep during one and woke up shivering, trembling, sweating and having activated his suit and attacked Thor. Thor was fine, but he feared that next time it would be Clint or Natasha or someone else a bit more fragile.

The more sleep he skipped, the more hallucinations started haunting him. At first Jarvis and later Friday would help him keep reality from slipping too far from his grip, but it was a struggle. Some days he took cover under his desk after having seen Obadiah walk past the workshop, other days he found himself cowering in his bathroom with the door locked so the ten rings couldn't get to him. He never did anything dangerous, not even when Ultron would manifest infront of him, break down and start fusing with Tony. He grabbed a saw once, almost put it against his arm to cut it off, but Bruce had showed up and he had stopped, pretended he was working. Parts of Ultron was still sticking out of his limbs, but he ignored them.

He was tired though. The lack of sleep made him slower, made him react later, made his brain malfunction. Work was piling up and he couldn't keep up with it. During battles it was getting harder and harder to evade attacks while simultaneously keeping up with the team and telling them where to go and what was going on. He could no longer argue with Steve because he constantly lost track of what they were shouting about. He avoided the team as much as he could, it was the only thing he could do to not clue them in to just how badly it was affecting him. They got angry at him, but he could take that, it wasn't like his brain was able to process what they were angry about anyway.

When the alarm went off he wasn't sure if it was just his imagination. Friday was talking to him, but the only thing he could hear was the sound of gunfire and a missile exploding again and again and again. His chest was hurting and he wanted to curl up under the desk and hide so no one could find him but he had to fight, had to protect himself, had to... He blinked. Steve was leaning over him, face furious. His mouth was moving but Tony couldn't hear.

”'m... w'rknnnn”, Tony attempted.

Steve's mouth kept moving, metal parts falling out of it, fusing together on his desk to form Ultron, but Steve didn't notice and he knew it was another hallucination. He tried to wave it away, which caused Steve's already furious face to grow even more furious. Steve leaned forward, his hand above the casing on Tony's chest, where he kept his suit, where he used to keep his arc reactor before he had it removed, and he saw Obadiah's hand and the tool he had and he was going to take it, he was going to kill Tony and Tony shoot backwards, chair falling over as the suit Steve activated covered him. He was safe in the suit and he could breathe now. He stared at Steve, at the information dancing infront of his eyes.

”Doombots”, Tony managed to make out from the flow of information that translated Steve's speech. ”Central park.”

”How drunk are you?”

Tony's heart stopped. He hadn't touched alcohol in years, had started giving it up after he almost died from palladium poisoning, then completely stopped after he took the arc reactor out. He swallowed, got to his feet. Friday answered for him when he couldn't find his voice.

”Boss' alcohol levels are at zero per mille, captain.”

”You seem drunk.”

The nanobots forming the suit was providing him with extra oxygen, making him awake, able to finally make out and react to Steve's voice. He took a few deep breaths.

”Sorry, 'm fine. Just...” his voice was still slightly slurred, slightly unstable, ”too long in 'shop. Le's go.”

One foot infront of the other. He had to focus, Steve's voice disappeared again but he was certain the captain was following him. He hesitated infront of the door, Friday had to play the video of Obadiah's fall before he managed to open it. She was quick and Steve only had time to give a disgruntled grunt before Tony opened the door, stepped out and followed Steve towards the avenjet. Natasha, Bruce and Clint were already onboard, Thor standing beside it as he still prefered flying on his own. Tony usually did as well, usually competed with Thor about who would get there first. Today he entered the jet, sat down in one of the chairs. The others glanced at him, but he ignored them, leaned back and closed his eyes. They lifted from the ground, Steve was going through their plan of attack and Tony tried to listen, but he could only hear the gentle hum of a battery and the splashing of water. His heart rate speed up, warningsigns flashed on the screen infront of him and Friday instructed him to take deep breaths, to breath in a square. Tony focused on not grabbing hold of anything, focused on not crushing anything under the fingers of the suit. He was safe in it, was safe in the suit, they couldn't harm him while he wore it.

He relaxed.

The jet landed and Tony got up from the seat, rushed out together with the others and took to the skies. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, made him focus. Friday scanned the park, updated him on the number of doombots, their positions and possible weaknesses and Tony dove into battle, blasted two out of Captain America's way, got Hawkeye to a higher position, relayed any information Natasha needed. He lived for these moments, when he was focused, no hallucinations distracting him, no deadline to keep up with, just the thrill of the battle, the adrenaline and possible death looming above his head. His scanners picked up Dr Doom and he told Steve before flying off to take care of him. Steve shouted in the coms, told him to stand down and focus on the robots, but Tony couldn't hear him, his ears were starting to shut down.

He was safe in the suit, at home in the battle and he was relaxed for the first time in weeks.

Tony found himself struggling to keep his eyes open. He lost track of where he was flying, almost ended up in a building but Friday took control of the suit in time. He blinked and Dr Doom had disappeared. He blinked again and was on the other side of the park. He turned back, blinked, and almost crashed into a doombot. He blinked one more time, but his eyes didn't open. Instead he found himself in a garden he hadn't seen since he was young. Aunt Peggy was with him, walking with him, listening at he started telling her about Dum-E. She told him about Captain America and he laughed, corrected her, told her his own stories about the legend.

Iron Man was flying more erratically over the battlefield than he usually did. He yelled something about Doom, then took off and Steve gripped his shield tighter. He had been very clear that they should keep their positions since it was most likely a trap. ”Do not engage on your own”, he had repeated at least five times, but of course the great Tony Stark didn't listen.

”Iron Man, stand down! We need to focus on the robots!”

Iron Man did not stand down. Steve's shield cut the legs of another robot. Thor's hammer smashed through the body. Then he saw Iron Man veer north, almost landed face first in a building before taking another sharp turn upwards. Steve took the legs off another robot before calling into the coms.

”Iron Man, are you okay?”

The only answer he got was a new change in Iron Man's flight path.

”Iron Man, what is going on?”

Friday's cheerful voice rang out in answer and Steve was taken aback enough that he missed an oncoming robot. Clint's arrow hit it square in the power supply and it fell down just as it was about to strike Steve.

”Sorry captain, we're experiencing a bit of turbulence here”, Friday chirped.

”Why doesn't Tony answer?”

”Boss is a bit, ah, preoccupied?”

”We're in a battle, there's no time to be preoccupied! Tony, talk to me!”

”I'm sorry, captain sir, but I will be cutting communications now.”

Friday's voice was almost threatening and Steve slammed his shield a little too hard into another robot. He saw Iron Man disappear towards the avenjet. He would need to have another talk with Tony about responsibility and duty once the battle was over. He ripped the limbs from a robot, threw his shield towards one that was heading in Natasha's direction. Thor and Hulk smashed a group of five and then the battle was dying out, Clint took care of a few stragglers that were stumbling around aimlessly and Steve put his shield on his back, looked out over the battlesite.

”That went a lot quicker than I expected.”

”You as well as all of us”, Clint said as he waved towards Thor to get a ride down to the ground again. ”Think he was just meassuring our strenght or something?”

”Maybe”, Steve glanced at the broken robot spread around them, ”but I don't like it. He must have had some sort of plan.”

Thor picked Clint up and Natasha helped Hulk calm down enough to let Bruce come back out. They headed back to the jet together, found Iron Man sitting curled up in a corner of it. Clint gestured towards him.

”Think his plan was whatever happened to Tin-man?”

Steve shrugged, walked up to the suit and was about to put his hand on it when Friday's voice rang through the speakers.

”I would advice you not to do that captain sir.” The sound of repulsors heating up echoed in the jet. ”Boss is not to be disturbed right now.”

”I just want to check if he's injured.”

”Boss is unharmed. If you do not believe me you are free to check him over when he wakes up.”

Bruce pushed Steve to the side at that, knelt infront of Tony and looked at the faceplate that remained firmly in place. Steve crossed his arms over his chest, watched as Bruce raised a hand towards the faceplate.

”Friday, could you please retract the suit so I can look at him?”

”Of course, Brucie-dear”, Friday answered and Steve raised an eyebrow, stared in disbelief at the speakers, ”as soon as he wakes up. Don't worry, Boss' health is my top priority.”

”Okay”, Bruce let his hand drop and got up from the floor. ”I'll trust you with him. Let us know when he wakes up.”

Bruce grabbed his headphones and a blanket and took his usual spot. Thor headed outside and Clint sat down in the pilot-seat, Natasha next to him. Steve found a chair facing Iron Man and sat down in it, his eyes not straying from his friend during the whole ride.

”Sometimes”, Tony whispered to Peggy, ”sometimes my chest hurt.”

He tapped his chest, looked at it.

”It feels like there's something missing, but I don't know what. Friday says I'm fine.”

Peggy picked a flower, knelt infront of Tony and put the flower behind his ear.

”Who is Friday?” she asked and she had that voice she always had when she talked with Tony, like she was actually interested in what he was saying, and she was the only one who had that. Even Jarvis didn't sound interested in the same way, Jarvis only listened as he rambled because he had to, because no matter what Tony was still his boss, but no one was the boss over Aunt Peggy. Tony smiled.

”Friday is a friend! She's sassy and nice and cares about me and she won't let anyone tell her what to do. I love her, she's great.”

Tony took a shaky breath.

”She's great”, he repeated, ”but sometimes I still miss...”

”Miss who, dear?”

And Peggy was morphing infront of his eyes, turning metallic, her eyes red, and they stared at him, wanted to rip him to shreds and he screamed.

Tony opened his eyes, sat up. He raised a hand to the arc reactor, prepared to call the suit. He couldn't remember calling it off, or getting into a jet. Was he kidnapped again? Of course he was, it was always something, always... His heart rate increased, his breathing got quicker. He had the suit, he told himself, he could break out quickly, they hadn't even bothered to disarm him.

Steve's face was infront of his and he tried to scramble backwards, hit his head on the wall and bit back a curse.

”Rogers! Shit! I have a heart condition!”

”Not any more you don't”, Natasha sing-songed from the front of the jet.

Tony touched the arc reactor again. Natasha was right, he had taken it out. He had fixed himself, like he fixed everything else that was broken. Steve frowned at him.

”Did you seriously just _fall asleep_ in the middle of a battle?”

Tony blinked, remembered, and Steve was right but there was no way he was going to admit to it.

”The suit malfunctioned?”

He cursed himself for the insecure tone of voice which was just as good as admitting that yes, he did fall asleep, and this would definately lead to another five-hour long lecture about something that Tony wouldn't be able to remember for long, because even though he had just slept for an hour it was far from enough to get his body to start working again. The jet landed and Bruce stirred in his seat, turned around and noticed Tony. Bruce smiled at him and sank down infront of him.

”How are you?”

”Peachy as always, Brucie-bear.”

Tony flashed him one of his paparazzi-smiles and Bruce shook his head.

”Nope, we are not doing that today. No lying around until you collapse from fever or blood loss or low sugar levels or whatever and then we find out you're dying because Fury contacts us to tell us Friday alerted medical. I can kick Steve out if it'll make it easier but you  _will_ tell me the truth.”

Tony bit his lip, let out a sigh and glanced at Steve. Steve still looked ready to lecture him.

”...Yes, please kick him out.”

”You heard the man, Steve.”

Natasha and Clint quietly left the jet, Tony could see them in the corner of his eye, but Steve stayed.

”I am not leaving, Tony failed to inform us that his health was compromised, then he left his position without instructions, almost destroyed a building and left he battlescene without letting anyone know what was happening.”

Tony sank, tried to make himself small. Something about the movement caught Steve's eyes, made his face softened up and Tony held his breath, glanced at Bruce. Bruce massaged his forehead.

”Steve, either you leave or I let the big guy out to force you.”

Tony didn't look at Steve, didn't dare. He kept his eyes firmly on the floor, clenched his jaw to keep himself from yawning. Tiredness was sweeping over him again, now that the initial panic from the wake-up was out of his system. His head was throbbing and he clenched his hands to avoid lifting them to rub his eyes. It seemed like ages before Steve got up and left and Tony sank down to the floor, released a breath he didn't know he had been holding. Bruce stayed sitting, looked at him.

”So”, he said. ”The truth this time. How are you?”

”...Tired.”

”We kind of gathered that.”

”No, you don't understand”, Tony couldn't hold the yawn in any longer. ”I can't sleep. I haven't slept for... for... Friday, how long has it been since we had a full night's sleep?”

”Does being passed out from sickness count, boss?”

”Yeah, sure.”

”Four months, boss. If being passed out does not count then the exact time is not in my database.”

Tony groaned.

”That kind of explains the last few days.”

”You slept for two hours today, boss.”

”Wow, new record.”

Bruce looked at him, head tilted.

”Can I touch you?”

Tony blinked, yawned again. He couldn't understand why Bruce would want to touch him or how but he nodded. Bruce placed a hand against his forehead, gently pressed around his throat and shoulders and let his hand trace along Tony's spine. A shiver ran through Tony's body but he decided to ignore it. Ignoring things was something he was good at.

”No fever”, he concluded and Tony rolled his eyes. ”You feel a bit tense though. Any idea why you can't sleep?”

Tony laughed, put an arm over his eyes. It closed some of the light out and the throbbing in his head subsided a little but what he really needed was a week or so of sleep.

”You're not that kind of doctor.”

”Do you want me to set you up with one?”

”I've tried. They don't listen and I can't... It's hard.”

”I know”, Bruce answered and Tony knew he meant it. ”Sleeping pills?”

”Disastrous, never again.”

”Okay then”, Bruce laid down on his side to be at Tony's level and Tony lifted his arm a little to look at him. ”I may have a solution, or at least an idea we could try, but you need to trust me for it. Do you?”

”I trust you with my life.”

”But would you trust me with the arc reactor?”

Tony hesitated. If there was anyone he'd trust with it it would be Bruce, but he had no idea what the plan was. Bruce seemed to understand his hesitation.

”You slept somewhat well in the suit, but obviously you can't keep doing that. An accident will happen, especially with Friday ready to defend you if anyone of us gets too close. But there was another occassion I remember when you slept pretty well and I would like to recreate that but with safer circumstances.”

Tony's eyes widened, he sat up, shook his head not caring that the throbbing got worse. Bruce was talking about the movie night and Tony couldn't let that repeat itself. Bruce sat up as well, lifted his hands in a placating gesture.

”I know what you're thinking and I'm not going to force you. Forcing you would be counter-productive anyway. Which is why I'm asking: Would you trust me with the arc reactor?”

Tony's throat felt thick, blocked, and he swallowed three times, lifted a hand and rested it over the arc reactor. Bruce waited and Tony tried to get his brain to stop running. He put his hands over his ears, closed his eyes and leaned forwards. His breaths were uneven. Could he do it? He always felt exposed, naked, without the arc reactor. Unsafe. Without the suit he was nothing more than a regular, mortal civilian and he had been made aware of that fact over and over and over again. With the Ten Rings, Obadiah, from Steve, when Loki threw him out a window, when he was stuck under the rotating blades of the helicarrier, from Thor's hand around his neck, Ultron, the arc reactor itself.

On the other hand he would be surrounded by people he trusted with his life, with people he trusted to have his back. His hands fell from his ears, his right one rested over the arc reactor, his fingers gripped the edges of it. Bruce waited, didn't rush him and Tony took a shaky breath, gave an equally shaky laugh.

”Are you sure you're not that kind of doctor? Because you're doing a dang good job at it.”

He took another shaky breath and leaned against the wall.

”I'm terrified”, he whispered, ”but I trust you.”

He pulled the arc reactor loose, handed it to Bruce. Before Tony could even blink it was gone, hidden in one of Bruce's pockets. Bruce smiled, got to his feet and offered Tony a hand. Tony got up without accepting it because he was still Tony Stark and Stark men are made of iron and a bit of insomnia wasn't going to turn him into someone who needed help with the easiest tasks like getting up from the floor. He stumbled, and Bruce steadied him. They left the jet together, Tony with his back straight and hands behind it and Bruce hunched over slightly, hands in his pockets. One foot in front of the other, breathe in, breathe out. Tony focused on that, focused on not letting panic overtake him. His chest felt light, like something was missing.

”Any movie requests?” Bruce asked as they entered the compound, heading towards the living room.

Tony blushed, knew the answer but was ashamed to admit it even though it really wasn't something to be ashamed of. But he was a genius, his taste in movies should be more refined, more dignified, more important and less childish. His friend wouldn't judge him, but the ghosts of his past would and it made him shake.

”D...disney. Maybe Frozen?”

”Frozen is great, I've been trying to get Thor to watch that with me for months.”

Tony relaxed a little. Then Thor's voice boomed through the compound and he had to close his eyes and cover his ears against the sudden spike of pain in his head.

”Do I hear you speaking my name? What has made me worthy of such honor?”

”Pointbreak, if you could please just talk like a normal human it would be nice.”

”Friend Anthony, it is great to see that you are once again feeling better. We were worried about you when you disappeared from the site of the battle.”

”We're having a movie afternoon”, Bruce said as Tony shook his head to clear some of the pain. ”We'll be starting with Frozen and continue from there.”

”I will be fetching appropriate snacks for the occassion”, Thor bowed his head and disappeared to the kitchen. Bruce and Tony sank down in the couch in the living room, Bruce gave Tony a small shove to get him lying down but Tony refused. Bruce didn't push him, and he leaned back, waited as the room filled up with the other avengers as well. It seemed like everyone wanted to watch Frozen and Tony tapped his chest, where the arc reactor usually rested. Obadiah entered as well, smiled at him, patted his shoulder and he clenched his eyes shut, flinched. Someone sank down in the couch next to him and he held his breath.

”Tony?”

Sam. Tony opened his eyes, Sam wasn't looking at him, but his arm was casually leaning against the back of the couch behind Tony.

”I heard what happened.”

Tony glanced at Steve, who looked in the other direction, and turned to Sam again.

”I want to talk with you later, when you're ready. I'm not a professional but... I like to think we're friends. I'll listen to you.”

Word spread too fast in the Avengers and Tony groaned, but nodded.

”Happy's picking Peter up, he'll be here in an hour!” Clint said as he and Thor entered the living room packed with snacks. ”Someone fetch drinks for us so we don't have to get up during the movies.”

Natasha, Wanda and Bucky put the table away, loaded the floor with mattresses, pillows and blankets instead. Vision floated to the television to start it up.

”Friday can do that”, Tony called but Vision just smiled to him.

”I enjoy doing these everyday human activities, sir.”

”Have fun then.”

Loki and Scott disappeared, then returned with several bottles of soda along with after battle-smoothies for Bruce, Natasha, Clint, Steve, Thor and Tony. Loki sat down in one of the armchairs and looked at the mess on the floor.

”Are we calling the wizard as well?”

”I sent him a text”, Clint shrugged. ”He'll show up if he has time.”

”And T'challa and Carol?” Steve asked.

”Carol's busy”, Natasha buried herself in the pillows and Clint threw himself over her. ”And T'challa doesn't have the ability to just poof here like Strange.”

”He's in New York for negotiations right now though”, Bucky said and everyone looked at him in surprise. ”What? I kept in touch with Shuri and she told me. I am capable of having other friends than the punk.”

Steve hit Bucky's shoulder but laughed and Tony felt his shoulders relaxing just a tiny bit. Natasha rolled over under the pillows and Clint fell off her. She patted the mattress and looked at Tony.

”Come on, I want a comfy pillow.”

”You only want me for my body.”

”It is a great body.”

Tony smiled but his breath hitched and he clenched his hands. Natasha sat up, put a hand on Tony's knee.

”I'm just teasing, okay? Breathe, Tony.”

”I know”, Tony tried for nonchalant but it failed, became pathetic and he tried to curl in on himself as Howard's voice echoed in the back of his mind. Natasha's put her other hand on his shoulder.

”We're here when you're ready to come back to us”, she whispered and squeezed and Tony nodded, tried to focus on her face, but it turned into aunt Peggy's, morphed into Ultron's, into Howard's, and Tony had to squeeze his eyes shut. When did he become such a mess, and when did it become bad enough that he could no longer hide it from the team, from his friends? The ghost of Howard's voice kept shouting at him in his head, something sat down in his lap, pulled him close. Other sounds started replacing Howard, Tony was able to breathe again and he blinked his eyes open, found his face pressed into Natasha and he patted her back.

”I'm back”, he whispered. ”Thank you.”

”The floor is more comfortable than the couch, pinky-promise”, Natasha slipped from his lap and back onto the floor, patting the mattress. A protest formed in Tony's mouth, but he bit it back, laid down on the mattress, stealing the largest pillow for himself and Clint pouted, threw a handfull of popcorn at him. Natasha laid down next to him, her head on his shoulder.

”Is this okay?” she asked.

”I'm... I'm not a baby. You don't have to ask if I'm okay with your every move.”

”We all have problems”, Natasha gestured around the room, ”better safe than sorry.”

Tony nodded, he knew, understood. He wasn't good at being verbal, had never learned how to ask, how to behave, he only plowed on like a bulldozer, taking everyone down with him. It was why he and Steve kept getting into arguments even after several years on the same team, several years as friends, as family. Why he prefered to stay away. But they must have noticed the small things he did anyway, how the room temperature always increased slightly whenever Steve arrived because the cold made him anxious, how Natasha's room had an open field outside of the windows because she wouldn't have been able to sleep if enemies could come close without her noticing them, how Thor's room had a ceiling window so he could watch the clouds and sky whenever he missed Asgard, how he had placed platforms close to the ceiling so Clint could disappear if he felt anxious, how he made sure the kitchen was always stocked so no one had to worry about going hungry, had showed them exactly what security meassures there were in the compound, what information Friday stored and how she stored it, had noticed the constant improvements he made to their gears.

A portal opened and for two short seconds Tony almost panicked again but then Stephen stepped through it, nodded to all of them and sank down in the couch between Sam and Bruce. Thor threw himself onto the mattresses, grabbed a bowl of popcorn and the smoothie Loki held out for him.

”No poison in it this time I hope, brother.”

”None that I know of at least, brother dear.”

Vision finally got the television started and grinned. Tony gave him thumbs up and Vision floated to the armchair, sat down and Wanda threw herself into his lap, kissed him and made herself comfortable. Vision wrapped a blanket around the two of them. Clint forced a smoothie into Tony's hand and Tony finished it, put the glass to the side. The movie started and Tony was suddenly wrapped in a blanket and squeezed inbetween Natasha and Clint, Clint put a bowl of popcorn on Tony's stomach.

”Pillow AND table, you're still full of surprises!”

Natasha grabbed a handfull of popcorn and crushed them against Clint's face. Tony blinked and then the first ten minutes of the movie had past. He yawned, blinked again and Anna was flirting with Hans of the Southern Isles. Blinked, and then he had his head on Natasha's shoulder. He tried to move away, but Thor was pressed against his back, his arm across Tony and Natasha, and Tony had to stay put. He tried watching the movie, but his eyes fluttered closed and he was in the garden, his mother's garden. Aunt Peggy was there, and Jarvis. He clutched his latest experiment to his chest – a toaster that toasted bread in just a few seconds – and ran up to them as fast as his short legs could carry. Jarvis smiled, lifted him and he held out the toaster, showed it to them.

”Did you build that?” Aunt Peggy asked and he nodded. ”Wow, you're so talented! Do you want to show us how it works?”

He nodded again, struggled free of Jarvis' grip and grabbed Peggy's hand, started leading her back to the mansion. The road broke infront of him, the garden started rising towards the sky. He dropped the toaster, tapped his chest. Something was missing, his chest hurt, it was burning and he fell to his knees. Steve was there, sneered at him.

”I know what Howard told you. He's right, you're too weak to be an Avenger.”

”He's not a teamplayer”, Natasha's voice reached him and he whipped around, saw her hanging in Iron Man's arms. ”Tony Stark not recommended.”

Iron Man landed, let go of Natasha and walked towards Tony. The faceplate lifted, Ultron stared down at him. He fell backwards, his shirt was getting wet, bloody, and the ground broke beneath him. He fell through the sky, through space, ice covered him but he felt like he was burning. He couldn't move, his muscles wouldn't obey him. He wanted to scream but there was no air in his lungs. He blinked and Peter was there, wrapped around him, holding him close, and Tony was trembling.

”Pete...”

He blinked. Peter was still there, his grip less tight. He blinked again and Peter sat infront of him, a worried look on his face.

”Kid, what's with the look? Did someone die?”

”My... uh... Peter-tingle went haywire. What happened?”

”Noth...” Bruce raised an eyebrow in his direction and Tony skipped out on the lying. ”Nightmare. Sorry I scared you.”

”What was it about?”

”What's with the interrogation? It's my turn to ask a question! 'Peter-tingle'?”

”I don't know, May and Happy keep calling it that! Nightmare, what happened in it?”

”I...” Tony lifted a hand, pulled it across his face. He was already forgetting the details. ”There was a garden.”

”Oh, a garden”, Bucky mocked. ”Did you have to do yard-work?”

”No, it was...” He glanced at Wanda, at Steve, at Natasha. He didn't need to say more. Clint clasped a hand over his shoulder and pulled him in for a half-way hug.

”How are you feeling now?”

”Peachy”, Tony answered out of habit then stopped, blinked and spent a second thinking about it.

And... he actually did feel peachy. His head wasn't hurting, his limbs didn't feel as heavy as they had done for so long, his brain felt less foggy. He yawned. Okay, maybe not completely peachy but he could think. He slumped against Clint, breathed a sigh of relief and then his eyes got teary.

”Oh my god, I can  _think_ again. My brain actually  _works._ How have I let it go on for this long without doing anything about it?”

Clint patted his back.

”Okay princess, whatever you say. We were just about to start Moana, you up for another movie?”

”Definately.”

Tony pulled away from Clint, flopped down on the mattress again. Peter curled up on his right side, Natasha on his left. Steve smiled towards him, threw a blanket over them and laid down on the other side of Peter. Bucky moved, sat down next to Sam and Stephen took Bucky's previous armchair, which happened to be as far from Loki as possible. Loki smiled towards the wizard and Tony hummed in delight. Thor started the movie before sitting down on the floor next to Loki and half an hour later Tony was asleep again.

It had been a month since he had been able to sleep. He was starting to avoid the team again, hid himself in his workshop, busied himself with work to keep the nightmares at bay. Occassionally he would collapse, fall asleep and wake up screaming and panicked half an hour later and throw himself right back to work. He was getting slower in battles as well, reacted a second to late and ended up taking more hits than he did when he was rested.

It had been a month and two weeks since the Avengers tricked him asleep. Tony sat paralyzed in his chair, Obadiah's hand resting on his shoulder. The golden goose had one more egg to lay. Tony blinked and he was gone.

It had been a month and three weeks with barely any sleep. Ultron was standing in his workshop when the alarm went off. The Avengers were needed, but Tony couldn't move. He stared as Ultron limped closer, leaned over Tony's desk. Ultron turned into Steve and Tony blinked.

”Tony, there's an attack, we're needed in the Capital district.”

”I...” Tony stared at his hands. Pieces of metal was sticking out of them and he clenched them. ”I'm going to skip this one, Cap. You go ahead without me.”

Steve stared at him, then his face got softer and he nodded. He patted Tony's shoulder.

”See you later then. Buck is also staying if you want some company.”

He started leaving. Tony grabbed a screwdriver, looked at the blueprint. The words and numbers were dancing on the paper and he put the screwdriver down, rubbed his eyes.

”Steve?”

Steve stopped, turned to Tony again.

”Can we have another movie marathon when you get back?”

”Anything you need.”

Tony wanted to smile, but he couldn't get his muscles to move correctly and it turned into a half-hearted grimace. He nodded to Steve, who started walking again. Tony could see Obadiah walking on the other side of the glass walls, heading towards the door. Steve stopped when he reached the door.

”Oh and Tony, thanks for letting me know this time.”

”I haven't said anything?”

”You said enough.”

Steve left, walked right through Obadiah, who disappeared. Tony sank down over his desk, tools and papers falling to the floor. He yawned, rubbed his eyes and smiled. Maybe, with some help from his team, he would be able to get his sleep under control. He rubbed his eyes again, got up and headed to the living room. Bucky was there and together they helped prepare for the movies. 


End file.
